I don't have much to say before the weekend so here are some some humorous quotes either about sports, or by people in sports:
“We don't need refs, but I guess white guys need something to do.”
--Charles Barkley
"We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."
-- Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record
“He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.”
-- University of Houston WR Torrin Polk on his coach John Jenkins
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theismann
"I've won at every level, except college and pro."
--Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships
“They say a tie is like kissing your sister. I guess that is better than kissing your brother.”
-- Lou Holtz
"I'm tellin' ya man, to be able to stroke it like that must be some kind of feeling."
-- Dick Vitale on J.J. Redick's ability to hit 3s
"I'll tell you right now, I'm going to make some mistakes ... I'm not a genius. There are only a couple of coaches in this league that are geniuses, and I'm not one."
-- Jets coach Herman Edwards
"When you're rich, you don't write checks. Straight cash, homey."
-- Randy Moss
"I've got to stop this. My entourages are getting entourages."
-- Jalen Rose, on the trouble finding tickets for everyone when he returns to Detroit
"There are two ways to argue with a woman, and neither of them work."
-- Carlos Boozer after cancelling an interview with a Sports Illustrated reporter because his wife was expecting him home.
"I would rather die in an abandoned building, by myself and my family not know anything, than play for him."
-- Shannon Sharpe on Tom Coughlin
"I feel 10 times better than I felt my last season, in terms of passion and fire. I got my dog back, in African-American language, your dog meaning your passion, your fire."
-- Deion Sanders
"I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok."
-- Shaquille O'Neal
"Arousal-control has been an issue for me since the beginning of my career."
-- Bode Miller
"If someone saw me in the shower, they'd never think I was on the juice."
-- Jason Schmidt
"You didn't write a story about my Hall of Fame induction. You guys never report the good stuff that I do."
-- Albert Belle, who has never been inducted into the Hall, on his recent stalking charge
"In some way, Jerome [Bettis] has touched every person on this team."
-- Hines Ward
"They should have focused more on me."
-- Sebastian Telfair of the Portland Trailblazers, giving his opinion of the ESPN documentary "Through the Fire" about ... him
"I may not be a class act, but I'm an American."
-- Ron Artest on wanting to play for the Olympic team
"I had an awful first quarter but I picked it up. To all you single guys out there, it's not how you start the date, it's how you finish the date."
-- Shaquille O'Neal after dropping 30 points in a win over the Knicks on Saturday
"Wells Fargo will contribute $5,000 to the 49ers Foundation to help under-served youth in the Bay Area for every 49ers touchdown scored this season. [Pause] There's going to be a lot of sad kids."
-- Joe Starkey, 49ers radio broadcaster
"By the time we got [to Detroit], it was almost 2 in the morning, because ain't nothing open but hospitals, jails and legs."
-- Jalen Rose
"Bud Light."
-- St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Chris Carpenter when asked to name his favorite pitcher.
"The sun has been there for 500, 600 years ... "
-- Mets outfielder Mike Cameron, after teammate Carlos Beltran lost a ball in the sun against the Dodgers
"Let me start by telling you this: I have never used steroids. Period. I don't know how to say it any more clearly than that. Never."
-- Rafael Palmeiro, recently suspended for using steroids, in his opening statement to Congress
"You're not going to play for me if you don't put out."
-- Mets manager Willie Randolph
" I like my beers cold and my homosexuals flaming."
--Tim Bozzone
And my personal favorite:
“The only bowl Rutgers is going to is the one I just got off of.”
--Former Boston College star QB Glenn Foley addressing a question posed to him about Rutgers bowl chances after beating the Scarlet Knights 37-20 in 1992
I wasn't really sure how to end my first blog post, so I'll leave Sam Cassell's E.T. like expression as an ending:
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